Valentine, Shmalentine: Tips for Survival

The way I see it… Love is like a game of dice, today you roll double six’s and tomorrow? Well, you never know, do you?

Valentines day also has it’s descriptor in my eye’s, is like a double edged sword, on one side you have a partner and have to be sure you have the day sorted out with all the trimmings on lock, or else you may just get a cheap glass of wine in your face. Then on the other hand you may not have a special someone. You may just have been looking for the right person and found yourself all alone on the one day of the year being coupled up is essential. So now what? Well no matter what side you find yourself it is important to remember the same things you’re told when caught in a fire.

  1. Remain calm
  2. Look for your nearest exits
  3. Keep your head down
  4. Don’t run
  5. Regroup on the outside

Ok, this may not sound right now, but just hear me out. I’m on your side trust me, this is not a love bashing parade. If you knew me, you’d know I’m all about the lovey dovey…well maybe not “all about” but you know what I mean.

So with Step One: Remain Calm

Most people panic when the time for epic display’s of affection arrive. Those in relationships or trying to be in relationships could go over board. Nothing creeps a girl out more than an over thought out gift (Burgundy trainer’s because she was wearing burgundy on the day them met and his line to get her was “you’ve been running through my mind all day”). Yeah, trainers are a good idea, but not on Val’s day. Just think about what He/she likes, things that will be useful to them and will always remind her of you. But ensure that if it’s small it better be accompanied by something else. Eg. Perfume with a nice picture of you two doing something fun in a cute picture frame and dinner….presto..smiles.

As for the ladies, yes, we do like gifts. It does not have to be a competition though, just something practical would be nice, a watch, t-shirt, for some guys even a mug.

Then for the singles, yes remain calm. Love is not contagious and neither is resentment. I have been one to curse all couples around me on Val’s day but hey, remember that it is not just you that is alone. Pick up the phone and call a friend. Hang out with the other single buds. Sit at the bar and watch the taken ones squirm and compete with every couple around them. Vals day can be fun.

Then for Step Two: Look for the nearest Exits

I don’t mean make a run for it or bail from what needs to be done. This step is just about knowing your options. Valentines day is just one day a year and let’s be honest, this is a day for the ladies. So guy’s use this opportunity to earn those brownie points, you don’t know when you’ll need them.

So look around for signs, girls always hint at what the want months before the date, pay attention (yes, I know this information is late but now you know where to go to get the truth). There is always a restaurant she will like and if you don’t know her well and want to impress think “classy” and not “expensive”. If the job is done right, she will expect more of that, so if you break the bank on vals day and go for suya and Coke the following week you just may find yourself by yourself.

Step Three: Keep your head down

In a fire the smoke rises and by staying close to the floor you can get more breathable air. In the valentines season people get volatile and fights break out like wild fire. Keep your head down and do what you normally do. The guy that was your homie yesterday could be throwing a fist at you because you looked at his girl the wrong way.

Wars have been started because of love, so be careful around the season that was created just for it.

Step Four: Don’t Run

Ok, this is an important one. I’ve heard of guys breaking up with girls before the major holidays and yes it actually happens. Let’s not join them and be “Maga’s”, if the time approaches and you are unprepared then stall. Instead of running around like a mad person, picking up cheap wine and lame chocolates, think carefully about what your partner likes and cater to that. If she likes movies, get her favorite films, favorite snacks, candles and have a night in just for two of you. But the biggest mistake you could make would be to end it there. Make sure you take her out the next chance you get and make her feel special. Buy the gift and “wink wink”, your good.

So think and don’t rush anything.

Step Five: Regroup on the outside

So now you have survived the day and the night. Those in relationships are getting appraisals of their performance by comparing to what others did and the single ones are just happy the day is gone. This is a delicate time, if you run out to brag to the girls about how your man did this and that, you may just be looking for trouble. You may find out he did the same for his ex, it was his friends idea or that your friends had a much better time that you and now you are bound to take it out on him. And the guys may just put their foot in it and tell the guys who tell their friends who tell you soon to be ex.

Now the day is done, don’t treat them less than you did yesterday. Love is not easily come by and it should be appreciated all the time. With a text, phone call, post it note, email but in my opinion not by bb. Just remind them of how important they are, when you can.

For the single ones, the day is done and those who tried to get the girl/guy have huge smiles or brand new emotional war wounds. Regroup, think out the next move. If that didn’t work then what is the best way to proceed?

Valentine is about love and love feels like a game of chance. They never stipulated it was just about couples (although it is very much implied) so this person you chose also chose you. bearing that in mind, live your life and do your thing.  So before I leave remember, if love is a game of chance, you win some and you lose some. It’s all in the heart and mind and if there is one theme in each step, it’s use your head.

The one on your shoulders guys. Wink*



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