Ok, Valentines day is tomorrow and whether you like it or not, you will be a part of it. It’s all about love and that’s a high stakes game which we play on a daily basis, “Will she like me back?”, “Will he notice me?”, “When will he propose?”, “When will she move in with me?” and all the other questions which corp p in or heads. Sometimes the answers to these questions are all just a question away, but the problem is that we are so scared of the answers that we hold them back like the flood gates of a dam.
I think that sometimes this “Game”would actually be a lot more straight forward if we all played by the rules. Most times we get caught up in the chase that we forget where we are headed. Some people like the games, some focus on the trickery, whilst at the end of the day one person is getting hurt and the other is nonchalant about it all, such is life and like physical wounds we all heal p eventually. Sometimes it’s the guy that gets hurt and some it’s the girl, but the point is that if we use our words in most cases, all the complexities would be avoided.
Think about it, you like someone but don’t know how they feel about you. You enjoy each others company and you feel a little lighter when they are around, but both of you are just clueless and oblivious to the obvious feelings you have. “Rules”dictate that the guy should make the 1st move but we all know there are guys who just don’t get the hints. What if you both just step up and talk about it, in my head and in a perfect world this is how the conversation would go:
“Hi Tope, I’ve been wondering. You must have noticed I have the hots for you right? Well before you say anything, here it is, I like you and would want to spend as much time with you as possible. I’m not sure how you feel but I know I’m feeling you.”
Then Tope cuts in and it could go one of two ways:
“Urm Jite, wow. I like you too and well I was hoping you would say or do something and I guess now you have. How about we go watch a movie and see how we work together?”
And there you have it. The dating process is started without months of plotting and planning meet ups. On the other hand it could go like this:
“Urm Jite, I like you, but just not like that. We always have fun and well at the moment I’m kind of feeling someone else. I hope this doesn’t make things awkward between us though.”
And in a perfect world things wouldn’t be awkward, because the guy would realize that she doesn’t have to like him just because he likes her. I never said it wouldn’t hurt but with this, the answer you had been pinning and worrying over would now not be the problem anymore. Now you would know if she liked you, you could step up and do what needs to be done and then if she didn’t like you, it’s time to move to plan “B” (Operation Woo and win her heart) or as Jay-z said “On to the next one.”
Here’s a real account which may help shed some light on things. A friend of mine contacted me the other day and told me that she likes this guy, but he just doesn’t notice her. She was wondering what to do because it was getting to her. He was the life of every party, witty, smart and when he walked in a room everyone would know, “HE” had arrived. So I asked if she had talked to him about it and she said “Now, why would I do that?”.
Now you see what I mean? If she asked and he answered, all the wondering and heart ache would be over. He would say he likes her or he doesn’t or even he does like her but doesn’t want anything serious. Any which way it goes the game would be over or it would be moving on to the next level, but it just turns out that she would rather not know the truth just in case it’s in the negative.
And so, the game continues, I’m not here saying she has to risk humiliation, what I saying is that sometimes it is just better to know, because yo see the Love game is all about trial and error. Like I said in my previous post (Valentine-Shmalentine: Tips for survival) love, it’s a game of chance, sometimes you’re on top and then other times…. not so much. But no matter how the cards are dealt and what hand you end up with, this is a game which we all play. Some are card sharks and get all the love around them and others are newbies who keep tripping up and learn with time, but at the end of the day, the game is to be played.
So now, the question is not about who is on ahead and who is behind. The question is simple…. Will you play and will you play fair?
Happy Valentines people, live and let love lead the way.