DECONSTRUCTING ALFIE – Mjolnir and 15 other Superhero WMD’s

Not every superhero is born with great power; some need a little outside help. I mean if you’re fighting the biggest and baddest super-villains in the world and can’t shoot plasma beams from your eyes (and sometimes even if you can), then you’re going to need a serious weapon.

It’s hard to think of Thor without thinking of Mjolnir, and you can’t bring up the Lantern Corps without talking about the Power Ring. In short, these guys are in possession of some of the most dangerous equipment in the comic-book universe. Here are 16 weapons that keep some of favorite heroes ahead of the curve.
Oh, and if you’re wondering why something like Wolverine’s claws didn’t make the cut, it’s because they’re not an external weapon. He can’t exactly take them off when he’s done. They’re grafted to his bones!

Thor

Weapon: Mjolnir
Characteristics: On Mjolnir is the phrase “Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.” That power consists of flight, the ability to change the weather (electromagnetism), energy blasts, force fields … and it comes with its own GPS. The hammer can and will travel across universes to find Thor. Besides the God of Thunder, several other people have had access to its power, including Beta Ray Bill and even Captain America.

Green Lantern

Weapon: Power Ring
Characteristics: The Green Lantern’s ring isn’t just a snazzy accessory; it’s a weapon that can create more weapons! We’re talking machine guns, hammers, shields and even giant fists. It allows users to fly, gives them a force field of protection, serves as a communication device and generates the Lantern’s suit. As long as it stays charged and away from a certain color, the power ring is the weapon that keeps on giving.

Silver Surfer

Weapon: Surfboard
Characteristics: The Silver Surfer’s board is one of the most unassuming weapons in the universe. It’s nearly indestructible, it can absorb energy or people (if needed), it can travel through time faster than the speed of light, and it’s mentally linked to the Surfer. Much like Thor’s hammer and the Lantern’s ring, the Surfer’s wish is its command.

Doctor Fate

Weapon: The Helm of Nabu
Characteristics: On the surface, this helmet may look like part of a tacky Halloween costume, but it’s much more. The helm embodied the spirit and powers of Nabu, a sorcerer and Lord of Order who had some serious control issues. With the helmet glued to his skull, the wearer gains enhanced intelligence, awareness, flight, dimensional manipulation, teleportation, telekinesis, the ability to see the past and future—and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Captain America

Weapon: Shield
Characteristics: Steve Rogers is from the old school, so leave it to him to make something as ancient as a shield badass. This weapon has gone through more changes than Madonna and Lady Gaga put together, but it still gets the job done. It’s been a circle and a triangle and it’s bulletproof, heat-resistant and can be thrown like a discus to strike an opponent. Not only that, but if released at the right angle, the shield will circle around and return to its owner.

Spiderman

Weapon: Artificial Web Shooters
Characteristics: Before organic web came into play, Peter Parker created twin wrist devices that shot and spun fluid that had a web-like consistency. Spider-Man’s web has been used for many things, including travel (he’s got to get across the city somehow). Plus, he can make nets, ropes, parachutes, blindfolds, trampolines and our personal favorite, a hammock, all at the push of a button.

Sara Pezzini

Weapon: Witchblade
Characteristics: This is another example of an accessory that’s more than meets the eye. The Witchblade looks like a simple piece of women’s jewelry, but it’s deadly. If you’re deemed as unworthy to wear it, it will dismember you. Yes, it has an attitude. If chosen, it bonds to its owner, giving her state-of-the-art armor, swords, daggers, shields and chains. Plus it has healing powers and can reanimate the dead.

Doctor Strange

Weapon: Eye of Agamotto
Characteristics: This artifact has a built in B.S. filter, which releases a light that sees through all lies, disguises and illusions. It can weaken the physical state of any evil being mystical or human, it can open portals, and most importantly it can explore an opponent’s mind to see their deepest and darkest thoughts.

Wonder Woman

Weapon: Lasso of Truth
Characteristics: Wonder Woman can do some serious damage without her weapons, but they definitely come in handy. If I had to choose between bullet-deflecting cuffs and a Lasso of Truth, I’m definitely going with the lasso. When lives are on the line, and time isn’t on your side, the usual torture-until-they-talk method won’t do. The lasso forces whoever it engulfs to tell the truth, and (depending on who it is) turns them into Wonder Woman’s mental slave (kinky!).

Blade

Weapon: Double-Edged Sword
Characteristics: Blade uses his fair share of sharp and pointy objects, but I’m a huge fan of his double-edged sword. The sword’s edge is covered in acid, and the handle is rigged with a security device (multiple spikes), which can shatter the hand of anyone who tries to steal it. Only Blade himself and a choice few are aware of the hidden button that can prevent said gruesome reaction.

Daredevil

Weapon: Billy Club
Characteristics: Billy clubs are usually mocked and reserved for rent-a-cops, but somehow a blind superhero made them threatening again. While in civilian gear, Matt Murdock disguises the club as a cane, but when it’s time for battle it can be used as a fighting staff and a pair of nunchucks. It also contains cables, which turn it into a grappling hook. Who knew?

Hellboy

Weapon: The Good Samaritan
Characteristics: Hellboy’s a big guy, so it only makes sense for him to have a big gun. The Good Samaritan (how ironic) is an oversized revolver forged with sanctified materials such as wood from the “true cross” and metal from church bells. The gun shoots specialty bullets that can destroy demons, vampires, werewolves and any other creature that goes bump in the night.

Mister Miracle (and countless others)

Weapon: The Mother Box
Characteristics: This mystical supercomputer can transfer the energy of a being, work as a telepathic device, open boom tubes (teleportation portals), sustain life and act as an overall PDA for the average intergalactic character. It even gives its owner unconditional love, which I have to admit is a little creepy.

Elektra

Weapon: Sais
Characteristics: Elektra is a ninja, and even though she’s proficient in katanas, shurikens and daggers, she’s at her best when she’s slicing and dicing with Sais. The three-pronged daggers come in pairs and are Elektra’s weapons of choice. Thanks to her extensive training and athleticism, she’s able to use them to their fullest potential wounding and killing many of those who’ve gotten in her way.

Green Arrow/ Hawkeye

Weapon: Trick Arrows
Characteristics: These two archers have a lot in common, and the trick arrow is one of them. Much like Spider-Man’s web, trick arrows can take on many shapes and sizes, no matter how intricate or ridiculous. I’ve counted a boxing glove arrow, a fountain pin arrow, a tear gas arrow, a stunner arrow, an acid arrow, an electrical arrow, even an adamantium arrow. Looks can be deceiving; you never know what these two will have stashed in their bags.

Batman

Weapon: Batarangs
Characteristics: Batman is a gadget and weapon master, and one item he never leaves home without is his batarang. It’s a bat-shaped combination of a boomerang and a shuriken that he uses to fight crime. Like most of the weapons on this list, they can be thrown to attack an opponent and return to his hand. They can disarm weapons, knock out lights and cut rope. There are also different types of batarangs, including sonic, electrical and explosive versions. A must-have for any crime-fighting vigilante!

Puffy

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One Response to DECONSTRUCTING ALFIE – Mjolnir and 15 other Superhero WMD’s

  1. prometheus says:

    Can you say “awesome”? Thanks guys…

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