ILLUSIONS OF GRANDUER – Bradey’s Blog (Grounded or Ass Whooping?)

Blog Entry: 15
Time: 11:47pm

Whoa, does school get hectic on some days! Especially now, when everyone’s writing all sorts of exams and getting recommendations. Nevertheless, to be honest, I can’t really be bothered. It’s my last year of A-levels. My brain tells me it’s time to have fun. Really, I can’t read my brain into stupor. I’m already geeky enough, don’t you think? Isn’t it enough that I’m smart? Now, I have to exert my brain excessively reading for unending hours. My brain says it’s tired and I say that there’s a beautiful woman who loves me who is really into having fun. Let me correct that, having lots of fun.

As soon as I got back from school, I threw my bag on my bed and changed into some more comfortable pair of skinny jeans, my black high tops and a tee. I picked up my phone. I just got a text from a contact, way-too-hot!

“Babes, I know you’re bored of school. Stop complaining to me. I don’t care! LOL Come over to mines; let me ease your tension. ; )”

Well, what do you think I did? Of course, I was going over. I was bored anyway. And I was thinking about going to see her, so …I did.

So, I got to the garage, pulled out my BMX and begun to ride down to her crib. I know she’s older than I am and well, she’s generally way out of my league. But, all the same, I felt she was the one. You know “the one.” That special somebody that you live the rest of your life with. I may be young and naive but the way I felt, I felt it was real love and I wouldn’t accept otherwise.

I knew where she kept her spare key so I used it to open the door to the apartment building and in no time, I was at her door. I knocked. She opened. She was laced up in the most gorgeous pink one-piece lingerie I had ever seen in my life. And trust me; I have seen quite a number of sexy lingerie. Not just from the girls I’d been with but from when my brother was a lot younger. Actually, two years ago, when he was my age, he had this huge porn collection that I had happened to see a scene or two from a few times. Trust me, not a guilty pleasure.

Anyway, my jaw dropped to floor. And in my head, I heard Sam’s brother’s voice say “way-too-hot” in his “drooling over girls” voice. She put her hand on my chest and slid it down then, turned around and walked back in the room. I followed with my jaw dragging on the floor and shut the door.

“Do you like it?” she asked in her “I’m a sexy seductress” voice.

“…*cough…yea…DUH! my jaw is practically on the floor right now in amazement and awe and-“

“Shut up. You talk too much. Get over here and help me get this off.”

I rushed over. The adjective randy just started qualifying me at this point. Her naked body stood in front of me but I couldn’t touch her. I wanted to savour this moment. I LOVED this woman. And before I could get to her, she turned around and walked over to her closet and begun to dress up.

“WHAT? Why are you dressing up now? You just made me want to get naked too,” I thought to myself. She put on a half top and a pair of bum shorts. That doesn’t help either. Then, she came over to the couch saying,

“So what was it about school you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Really? You seduce me, then, you ask about school. Is this scripted in your brain’s book of seduction jokes? Because this just isn’t fair. You can’t just put on my switch and just expect the machine not to work. I’m ready to work right now. Make sweet sensual love to you.”

“Have I told you that you talk too much before?”

“Well, yes”

“So, go ahead, put it to good use. If you really like me, we should share things. Sex should not be eighty percent of the relationship, boyfriend”

“Guilt trips. You are so good at that. Okay, whatever.”

So we did. We spoke for hours and hours and before I knew it, we were both asleep on her couch. It actually felt good. Her head was on my chest, my arms holding her like she was my priced possession and I was so comfortable just being there. I dreamt about her for the first time in a non-sexual way. We were sitting on the beach and making fun of people. I was enjoying it until my phone started vibrating, waking me up. I picked it up.

“Uh, hello?”

“Young man, do you know it’s past your curfew. Grounded or ass whooping of a life time? You choose.”

“Oh, mum!” I said loudly, inadvertently waking charlotte up,” I’m so sorry. I fell asleep in my friend’s house. I’ll be home in no time. Please, don’t punish me!”

“Where are you?”

“A friend’s house”

“What is your friend’s name?”

“Mum, why do you like doing this? I’ll be home in at least thirty minutes.”

“You better! But you’re grounded anyway for two weeks. You have exams. You can’t afford to be playing around with your life like this. Do you want to end up like the bums on the street? Huh? Answer me?”

“No, mum.”

“Then, get your skinny black Nigerian ass home.”

“Yes, mum.”

Charlotte was giggling under her breath and as soon as the phone call ended, she burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, embarrassed.

“You know it’s funny. Do you want to end up like a bum on the street?” she said mockingly, “excuse me.”

She got up and went over to the bathroom. I just sat there. Sleep just wacked out of my eyes by my yelling mum and my girlfriend laughing at me. I need to get home. So I got up and went to put my shoes back on. As soon as I got them back on, I heard my name from the bathroom door. There it was again, the pink lingerie.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“Don’t be a Dumbo! You’re still grounded anyway. You have from now till whenever you get home to be officially allowed out of the house. So why go now?”

“That makes sense. But I just put on my shoes.”

“Leave them on.” She said as she winked at me.


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