There’s a thin line between invasion of personal space and your comfort zone (obvious, isn’t it). Literally, a very thin imaginary line that even you don’t see… you can only feel it; or rather, feel when it’s crossed. Likewise, there’s a thin line between privacy and when someone is blatantly just invading it. He/she may be your friend, classmate or even your lover but when that line is crossed, you just know and it’s as irritating as getting a stitch when you’re exercising (like jogging or playing sports). And, the big deal about it is, when it’s someone closer to you that does it, it’s even more annoying. It even tends towards a breach of trust when that happens or a feeling of disappointment; that whole “you should know better than to do that” feeling.
But what is this invisible imaginary line you can only feel when breached? This isn’t psychology class, so I’ll skip the laws and theories (Maslow, we salute thee). But regardless, this “irritation” is more or less completely in the mind. For example, how someone you’ve known for ages and are close to would sit on your bed and inadvertently mess it up and you would throw a fit and blow up because “messed up beds” is your pet peeve; and then some girl you just invited over to your room for the first time does the same thing and is pardoned.
As a person, I’ve tried my best to make sure I don’t let people down. And, so far I have succeeded. The only person I do know I’ve let down is myself and well, it counts as a letdown… but not really. And, I do this in the strong belief of “do unto others as you want done unto you”; So based on that, I hate it when people let me down. “Let me down” not in the sense of “sorry, bro, I wasn’t able to get you the ticket I promised”. That’s a bit understandable; life has up and downs and pardon my lingo when I say, shit happens. But, “let me down” in the sense of the prior mentioned mental phenomena of “you should know better than to do that” (a Nigerian would add a prolonged “now” to the end of that sentence)
If anything is an absolute irritant, it’s when “you should know better” and you let me down especially when it involves me. You can let me down if it has nothing to do with me; like if you did something awful to someone and I didn’t expect that from you; that’s different; that lets me down but isn’t irritating, it’s more like a, how do I say this, re-orientation programme (so this is how he/she really is?-kind of thing). When it has to do with me, it makes me almost implosive. For example, let’s say that I HATE eating rice and then, one day I’m starving and I come over to yours for a meal you had previously promised and I get there and meet a bowl of jollof rice; not only would I be sad because I’m hungry and can’t eat what you cooked; feel bad because it becomes a wasted effort; I become seriously disappointed that you didn’t know better, which slowly turns into a mild temper.
But, that’s a bad example. Simply put, we all really don’t know who we think other people are; ‘hell, we hardly know ourselves. But, that doesn’t give any excuse for anyone to be less aware of whom we are, want and/or need. Not only is it saddening or mildly depressing, it’s disappointing and angering, when someone you thought was your best friend didn’t know you were allergic to groundnuts and put some in your birthday cake or deleted some pictures from your phone without your permission or chatted with a contact on your BBM as you (especially when it’s not “just a joke”, more of a suspicion).
Not only is it those above mentioned, it’s also a conspiracy to destroy whatever relationship you both have especially when those actions are done deliberately. Like I said before, when it’s someone close to you, it becomes more like a breach of trust and hurts like hell. So if you think you’re a person’s good friend and he/she has never invited you over to theirs, it’s not because he/she is saying you’re not their good friend but in some aspects, you haven’t quite gotten to that “invite over” zone. So just chill, relax, have a coke and a smile. And, when that imaginary line shrinks closer and closer to the person’s skin, you’ll be let in.
The Music Geek.